Depression: ”I Am Tired, I Want To Quit School” Nigerian Final Year Student Opens Up

”I Am Tired, I Want To Quit School” Nigerian Final Year Student Opens Up

A Polytechnic student who lost interest in life out of depression has given reasons why she is in her current state.

In a post on the micro-blogging site, Facebook, she enumerated how the decisions of her lecturers in school culminated into her current sad state.

Below is the Full Text of her Facebook post ;

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”I am 20 years old. I have created a new account to share this, only my coursemates or people in my school would recognize me through this article.

The past week has been the most depressing week of my entire life; as much as I have been living with depression for the past few months, this week has been overwhelming.

I used to be the most-hardworking student I know. I was top of my class in ND 1. I ensured I finished all the textbooks of the courses we offered in each semester. In the euphoria of how well my hardwork paid off, my goal for ND 2 was to graduate with a Distinction and top my class again. The way things panned out in my first year made me love how a student could be rewarded if the student puts in his or her best in studying.

Fast-forward to ND 2 first semester, I finished all the textbooks and made sure I understood the courses by self-testing and tutoring my colleagues – as usual. Our semester results are released at the beginning of the next semester. I never fret at the WhatsApp Broadcast of Facebook Post that a course result has been released.

The first course (Entrepreneurship) result of last semester was pasted in the second week of resumption and I had a ‘CD’ – this was my lowest grade all through my stay in the school till date. I didn’t take it to heart as I didn’t study this course too well last semester and it was a 2-credit unit course.

But then, one week later, the result for one of my courses (OO COBOL) was released. I had an ‘F’. To put this in perspective, this is one of the easiest programming languages out there. Plus, it is an outdated language – already says a lot about the standard down here. I and a few of my coursemates were the best at this course last semester. I personally was getting paid to help fill practical manuals. It was basically one of those courses I wouldn’t need to study for prior to an exam the next day.

I had an ‘F’. I’m not ‘clouting’, but the best grades in this course ironically belonged to people who would not be able to write a simple “Hello World” program using this programming language. I completely broke down at the sight of my name trailing to an ‘F’ on the result sheet. I immediately persuaded the few “good students” who also got “F”’s and were sure they did well to join me and go make a case to our Head of Department (HOD).

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I represented the group and told the HOD that this is not what we expect for a course like this. I asked if we could see our marked exam answer sheets. Would you believe it? He said the answer sheets have not been submitted to him, and that if I want a remarking, I would have to pay N15,000 to the school management or the remarking panel (or whatever name they try to scam us with). I was disgusted at these revelations. I mean, how can I be charged 15k for me to just get a chance to prove myself? 15k? Just to see and prove my own exam answers? This is an educational institution, and not a law court or the police station. The HOD said he cannot do anything about it, that we only have the option of going to ‘see’ the lecturer.

The lecturer had on several occasions, after the exam, related to the entire class through the class rep that each student needs to pay at least 7k or else you would fail. I ignored all of those because I thought they were threats and believed I did more than enough to get at least a “B”. It eventually turns out the lecturer wasn’t blabbing about it. I don’t know how I would be able to face myself knowing I paid to get a grade in school. I am at a crossroad. I am lost.

This is my ordeal. I have absolutely lost any interest and passion for school. For real, what is the essence of all my sleepless nights? Sacrificing trendy clothes and sneakers for data subscription and materials to do research? When, in the end, a fellow that did not even attend lectures will have a better grade because he or she has money to give the lecturer? Is this the way it has been from way back? Or did the standard just drop so low? Why have these lecturers taken pride in extorting other people’s pockets and suppressing bright minds? Why have they used money to promote waywardness in higher institutions? Why is money the determining factor of student’s grades and not the student’s academic performance fueled by unwavering passion for studying and learning?

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These and many more unanswered questions are the reasons why I have lost all interest in school and education. Nothing actually interests me now. School is a total waste of precious time. People party all semester and show up to sign attendance on the exam day, then pay money to the lecturer to pass. It’s all money, money and more money! All these pot-bellied bastards destroying destinies and killing dreams! Would they do this to their own children?

I want to speak up, but I can’t. I am depressed. I am discouraged. I am tired. I want to quit school.’

Thank you for reading up!”