Sexual abuse..

Marriage And Sexual Assault

by Uche Iwegbuna
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“I feel like I’m being violated when I have sex with my partner” Sounds melodramatic right? Sexual assault in marriage is an under-reported case in our society which makes one wonder if it is safe to say that our culture condones sexual misconduct which subsequently results to marital rape in marriages. Till date, it(sexual assault) is not prosecuted as harshly as rape cases outside marriage.

Any gender can be a victim of marital sexual assault even though it depends on the occasion and event but in most cases, the victims are women. Some women are treated like properties, which can be treated as they(men) deem fit.

Our movies also depict that a woman should satisfy all of the husband’s sexual needs irrespective of how she feels about it and no viewer frowns at it but then it builds a negative mindset and promotes this act in the mind of the upcoming generations. In some cases, men are victims of this sexual assault especially when the women are in charge of the home or the breadwinner.It is more disturbing when sexual assault is accompanied by domestic violence. When a partner refuses to comply with a partner’s sexual request, marital assault sets in. Marital sexual assault victims are relatively timid and traumatized. They also never talk about their problems or experiences for fear of shame and stigma.

Assault is not specifically when you know there is biological penetration, any form of non-consensual sexual behavior that includes: “Kissing, Hugging
Touching someone in a sexual way, Oral sex, Anal or vaginal penetration with any object is a form of assault.

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Effects of Sexual Assault

* Victims in marital sexual assault live an emotionally isolated life that makes them seem withdrawn in their social life, feel unwanted, worthless and not valued. They also feel their body is not their own and as a result, they are indecisive, have low self-esteem, and settle for things below their level.

* Consciously or unconsciously, it makes the victim change the orientation of their children to not only hate, disrespect or fight their father but also extend it to every other male folk they meet in life and this would affect the association and socialization of the children anywhere they find themselves because their trust was violated. The female children will have a bad mindset about men that could affect their own marriage, while the male children will live in self-bondage for fear of being like their father.

Read Also: Three Teachers Arrested Over Defilement Of Students(Opens in a new browser tab)

* It affects productivity within and outside the marriage because the victim at every given time is conscious of her environment, is easily startled, is overactive and exhibits anxiety symptoms resulting from flashbacks of events especially during intimacy.

At least one out of three women in marriage experience sexual assaults in marriage and would rather die in silence than speak out. The primary reason you married your partner in the first place was because you loved him/her, understanding underlying events that might lead to conflicts and misunderstandings in marriages and finding peaceful means of resolving the issues and averting it to prevent hopelessness for one partner or both.

Marriage is a beautiful union and an institution to be enjoyed by both partners hence, couples are expected to talk about your different sexual expectations with your partner then both of you dialogue to create a working, sweet, happy and adventurous sex life and marriage.
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