By Nnenna Joseph
Expatriates are human, they fall in love too and marry indigenous black women or men in Nigeria. This accounts for less than 3% of marriages in Nigeria.
A foreigner (Onye ocha/Alejo) regardless of race or gender is presumed to be rich. This forms the basics of the issues in this marriage setting.
Love finds us in the most mysterious ways, we have to readapt, readjust, and eventually keep moving.
Ngozi a lady from Nnewi, Anambra state fell in love with Long Ting her lover and they were married in October 2019 in Anambra state. Ngozi’s marriage is one of those rare cases of Interracial marriages in Nigeria.
When Onye ocha decides to marry a Nigerian lady while both live in Nigeria, there are usually a number of things that come into play before and during the marriage. These perks have to be double-checked and both parties mentally ready to embrace the challenges. Here are some of them.
- Traditional differences
The traditions and cultures of these two are extremely different. A Nigerian getting married to a Chinese will experience cultural biases, starting from planning the wedding. How many Chinese men will agree to a typical Nigerian traditional marriage? For a Yoruba bride, prostrate before his inlaw? Buy seemingly unimportant items on an endless list for an Mbaise wife. Some couples get through it.
For a foreign woman, where will be traditional marriage be performed or wouldn’t there be?
Post-wedding, other issues come up, naming a child, parents, and relatives visiting, family relationships. The lady has to accept the cultural differences her in-laws will bring to the table, which might contradict hers.
In some cases, there are religious differences and this might bring an issue.
It is always better to discuss issues like this before getting involved, conversations solve everything in love and relationships.
- Family expectations
The family of the Nigerian will always have expectations. As mentioned earlier, every expatriate is supposed to be rich in an average Nigerian’s thinking. Marrying one, you are expected to be a cash cow, milk your husband of money and turn your family fortune. This is however different from upper-class families who do not depend on inlaws for fortune.
The financial expectations doused on the woman or man marrying oyibo is sometimes outrageous. Some of these oyibo are factory workers, average life persons, scholars, researchers, no big deal, no cash fortune somewhere.
- Your expectations against his
Most people who marry Oyibo have expectations of leaving the country with their spouse to start a life outside Nigeria with their children someday. Does this eventually work?
Sometimes expatriates like it here in Nigeria, they are probably making more and spending less here, or they simply love their career path or how much they are adorned because of the advantages of racial prejudice.
- Gold digger status
Any interracial marriage is regarded as a gold-digging venture. No one will ever believe you married your partner for love. Friends, relatives, family, strangers, anyone you come across will regard your marriage as a means to an end. The type of advice you get will give you a clear indication that people think you are in this for benefits turning you into a gold digger.
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- Citizen benefits
As agreed earlier, not all foreigners are rich, some are equally struggling especially those from less developed countries. Landing yourself a foreign husband or in very rare cases- wife, might just be a dark side of the twist. He might be marrying you for your Nigerian citizenship benefits. One would ask, what benefits could there be to being Nigerian, well, quite a lot.
“The advantage is that when you are the spouse of a Nigerian, you have no limitation on the job you will do; you don’t have to pay residence permit fees; it is easier for you to stay.“So, we are beginning to face difficulties because many people are becoming married on temporary ground,’’ says the immigration boss Muhammad Babandede. One has to be careful of situations such as this.
As much as interracial marriages are encouraged, precautions have to be taken to ensure you are fully aware of what you are walking into.
Marrying a man outside your race can be overwhelming especially if you both are living in Nigeria.
How about if the woman is abroad and you, the man, will be living in Nigeria? Watch out for our next article.
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