When I came to the knowledge of this truth way back in the secondary school, I made up my mind to marry before the age of 30 against all odds.
My dad had died at a retirement age of 64 when I was 7 and my younger brother was 4. The dead man left no plans or economic arrangements to train both the younger and far older children in school or in trade. The civil war and 20 pounds compensation by victorious Nigeria in spite huge deposits in Nigerian bank before the war quickened his death.
The mistake of late marriage is being repeated today by even far more educated and exposed people. We do this and claim a non-existent covenant with God when we should have applied the common sense He gave us.
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I decided that I would not repeat the same mistake my father made hence my determination to marry at 30 which I later realized was even late.
HARD FACTS FOR GUYS
Assuming you get married at 30 and your wife conceives and delivers your first child when you are 31, the following would likely play out:
Because the average age of graduation in the Nigerian universities these days is 26 then, you shall be 57 at the graduation ceremony of your first child.
Also assume that you have 3 kids with an average spacing age of 2 years then your last child would be 5 years younger than the first. Therefore, you shall be about 63 at the graduation ceremony of your last child.
ISSUES: Look around you and you shall notice the increasing rate of delayed conception and child mortality which is 1/400 (i.e one new born baby out of 400 to Nigerian parents dies in the hospitals) and if you factor in the possibility that there might be delays and assign a number of years to this possibility say for instance, add 4years to that, then a man may be 67 years at the graduation of the last of his three children.
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INFORMATION TO CONSIDER
1. All civil servants must retire at 60 or at 70 for professors and judges.
2. Average life expectancy in Nigeria is now 47 years for men and 48 for women meaning that most Nigerian men die before the age of 48.
The above implies that you would be retired and may not be able to earn enough money to pay the school fees of your last child starting from his/her third year in the university.
It’s worse for bankers because the Central Bank of Nigeria has capped the age of retirement of bankers at 60.
Most banks now find reasons to retrench their staff once they clock 55.
HARD FACTS FOR LADIES
Hardships in the extended families and need to work to augment income, the pursuits of careers, feminism, long stay in school, sheer greed, materialism, choosiness and other factors have singularily or combined to make women delay in committing to marriage much earlier.
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INFORMATION TO CONSIDER :
1. Science says that the best age for a woman to have less complications during child birth is between 18 and 25 all things being equal.
2. Most professional ladies now marry at over 30 years of age and have difficulties either in conception or post delivery complications. This has posed great gynecological challenges for non-circumspective couples. They spend so much to get pregnant and sometimes the women die in so doing.
3. In most cases, fibroids occur when the womb lays fallow for so long a time without conception. This is not the only cause of fibrous growth.
ISSUES: Imagine both parents being retired and cannot provide for their undergraduate children.
The inability of well meaning children to cater for the financial needs of their intelligent children has fuelled student prostitution in civil service states of Enugu, Owerri, Abeokuta, Akure, and around university campuses.
AGE LONG ADVICE TO AN ONLY SON
If you are an only son or if your desire in marriage is to beget children, ensure that you marry a lady in her early twenties and never beyond 26 so that even if you have fertility challenges and it takes up to 10 years to be resolved, you still have a fertile wife.
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Since the birth of Isaac and John de Baptist, no very old woman has ever given birth through natural means to a natural child.
Please note that IVF, Artificial Insemination and Surrogacy techniques are expensive with no assurance of success after huge expenditure.
GENERAL ADVICE
If you intend to have children in marriage, please marry early enough to avoid birth complications. You need to do so when you are capable of shouldering your responsibility before you port to the netherworld.
You can still achieve all you want with careful planning. Many women who married early have made it to the highest levels of their professions. Some are managing directors of big corporations and are doing well.
I know that some readers would start pointing at Abraham and Sarah, Hannah, the mother of Samuel and other isolated cases. They can continue. Not everyone that attends a crusade goes home with miracle.
However, a visit to fertility clinics and gynecological section of a teaching hospital shall speak common sense to a young girl and boy. A younger woman with fertility issues stand better chance of conception than a lady in her late 30s or 40s.
If you have problems with the facts I adduced, please consult a medical personnel for clarifications.
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SCARY TRUTH
1. There is a disturbing likelihood that a child conceived at a later age would be born with Down Syndrome or Mongolia Disease. These children look alike irrespective of races.
2. Some women now approach menopause as early as 35. Why opt for hormonal treatment when it could be avoided?
3. Men’s sexual libido reduces with age. A man is at his best when he is below 40. There is an extent Viagra and other performance-enhancing drugs can go. They may also make a man see his creator much earlier.
4. There is every likelihood that if you marry late to a sexually active woman and fail to satisfy her that you may lose her to sex toys or gigolos. Some of this type end up in a divorce.
5. Reminiscence of old couple of their early life great sex is sometimes enough for them to reach orgasm. You have great sex when your engines are new or fairly new not when you are being assisted to stand up.
NB
Medicine records that females’ sexual libido increases with age while the males’ reduces with age. But age does not affect a man’s ability to impregnate a woman but the act would be a mere inoculation for old men. Older people are full of intention but feeble performance.
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My first degree is in medicine related course, so I know what I am saying. I also know that miracles occur but not for everyone or at our own choosing.
I am a firm believer in “”God’s time is the best” or “there is an exception to every rule” but my write up above is based on scientific and statistical evidence.
Please marry early if you can.
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