The process of divorce in Igbo land

By Onyinye Igwe

Divorce marks a process of separation between two couples. In the Igbo tongue, it is referred to as “Igba alukwaghi m”. The Igbo people frown at the issuance of divorce and it is being used as the last resort in cases of wrangling between couples and in situations where all measures are taken to reconcile couples prove abortive.

When a couple faces marital problems that go beyond what they can handle on their own, they take the issue to the village and bring in the elders in a bid to ameliorate the problem but in cases where even the elders’ efforts all seem to be in vain and the couples are steadfast in their desire to separate, divorce is then inevitable.

When speaking on the right way to go about divorce in the Igbo land, it brings to mind that there is a wrong way to do it. A lot of people feel that rules are established to be broken and this has carved out the path for divorce that breeds enmity and confusion. Scenarios, where the man goes to the hometown of his wife and rudely asks for the bride price he paid on her head all the while throwing her things in front of her home, is very wrong and should not be emulated. This process of divorce is not acceptable on any basis at all as it is disrespectful and is not in line with the Igbo tradition.

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The process of divorce in Igbo land is centered around the phrase “izuchi’ahia nwanyi”, meaning, returning of the bride price. This rite is an intricate part of the process of divorce and without it, divorce in Igbo land has not occurred.

To perform this rite, the families of the. couple gathers at the wife’s paternal home. The bride’s family entertain the husband’s family with, drinks and even food. Do not misunderstand, this is not a celebration, this is simply the right way for the couple to separate amicably without bad blood on any side, it paves a way for peaceful separation.

The part of entertaining the husband’s family is seen as a form of payback for the expenses incurred by the husband during the introduction ceremony.

After this process, the father of the wife or whoever represented him in collecting the bride price gives the husband the precise amount paid to him as bride price. At this point, the separation is sealed and the process of divorce is said to have been carried out successfully.