Ayola was a certified mad man who hailed and lived in my mother’s village of Nnewichi, Nnewi.
His brand of madness was not a violent one as he never attacked anyone or constituted a nuisance to his relations or passersby. He never hurt even the most of the naughty children from St. Mark’s Primary school at Okpuno Nnewichi who would boldly call him “Ayola onye ara!” meaning “Ayola the mad man!” He would smile and walk away.
Ayola onye ara lived in a hut right inside his father’s premises, cooked his food, and swept his compound. He also knew his land boundaries.
He was once overheard warning his neighbor and a relation who encroached into his land by one tongue of a hoe. He scattered the border-crossing ridge and used his own hoe to remake the ridge made by his greedy relation to preserve the boundaries.
Ayola’s type of madness is called “iyi ara anya odo” meaning “practicing madness with a modicum of commonsense” in Nnewi.
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His certificate as a mad man was derived from the way he dressed and his indiscernible discussions with unseen persons as he walked on the road.
Ayola could also sing all the Latin songs he had learnt at St. John Cross Catholic Church, Akwuegbo when his brain “was still together as one”.
People would give or “dash” Ayola food items and clothes as humanitarian gestures; but he would wear the clothes in breach, perhaps to display his well-endowed penis, which I suspected he knew was a source of envy to men with little stumps as staff of office.
Ayola had colonized a portion of the Amauko junction, where the Nnewi-Onitsha road crossed with the one leading to Nnobi from Afia Nwafor in Uruagu. There is also a thriving small market at the Amauko junction.
At midday, when the sun perched on top of the head of someone standing erect, Ayola would sing along with the loudspeakers of music played by a music cassettes seller, of all Pericoma, Oliver de Coque and Osita Osadebe labels.
He would also dance to the tunes depending on his mood.
Ayola was madding his madness without major issues until one day when he arrived at his “shop” to see one mad man sitting down on his seat, the very seat he used, a bucket placed upside down.
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Ayola approached the intruder and quietly asked him to vacate his territory but the man was adamant and a fight ensued and blood flowed.
Every object within the vicinity became a weapon and none of the gladiators noticed the bleeding new wounds they inflicted on themselves.
The ferocity of the fight made a drunk in one of the beer parlours, watching in the crowd, to shout that “ara na adi nma n’okolobia” meaning that “madness is best exhibited with a youthful energy.”
Traders in shops within and around Amauko junction scampered for safety and even the music man switched off his music and took to his heels.
Ayola was about to commit murder with an axe he snatched from a tree feller who stopped to watch the madmen performance, when the high pitched screams of the crowd caught the attention of a nearby team of busy policemen.
It took one of the mobile police officer who was armed to the teeth, who also was practicing his own madness with his colleagues by collecting illegal tolls from Okada and bus drivers, to stop Ayola.
Even the mad men feared a policeman with a gun as the warring duo immediately stopped fighting as commanded by the police officer.
“What is the matter with both of you?”, the officer asked.
“Ask him”, Ayola started,”if he would accept in Nnobi, his hometown what he has just done here”.
“I know him. His name is Apee Igwe. I, Ayola, have been practicing my madness here at Amauko for the past 25 years and everybody here would bear me witness.
“I came here this morning to see this man on my seat, in my territory and I asked him to leave and to go to his own town or to another bus stop far off to practice his own madness and he refused.
“Is he not greedy and troublesome to have left Afor Nnobi market and other road junctions in his hometown to come to mad his madness here?
“Nwatakili a na-eche na mu na ayi ara umuazi ebea (meaning that: this small boy thinks that I’m his mate at a kindergarten stage of madness!). That’s why I wanted to teach him a lesson in madness.
“Seniority is key even in madness as it is in police or motor park.
“Officer, please check it yourself, even you as police officers, give a good distance between two checkpoints where you practice your own madness which is different from ours.
“Galant Mopol, don’t be angry with my choice of words as you know that no two madness are the same as “ara di n’udi n’udi” (meaning that breasts or madness are in different shades or types”),” Ayola concluded with great applause from the crowd that was so bewildered by the oratory and eloquence of a supposedly mad Ayola.
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The last statement of Ayola cleared the doubt in the mind of the suspicious mobile police officer that Ayola was not completely mad; otherwise, how could he have the presence of mind to be putting “mouth” in the police work.
But the policeman would not let the Ayola’s sarcasm or gratuitous insult get to him because if decided to arrest Ayola and take him to station on the account of his impudence, his divisional police officer would rather lock him up and free Ayola. The policeman would be deemed the real mad man.
To maintain peace, the police officer ordered Apee Igwe to return to Nnobi his home town to practice his own madness at any vacant road junction or bus stop, and that he should never disturb Ayola in his madding station.
Ayola(a.k.a Bishop) died on the 12th of January 2020, and has been buried.
Culled from a book ORGANISED TO SUCCEED: NNEWI SOCIETY, CULTURE AND TRADITION
Written by Anayo Nwosu
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