Public Proposals of Marriage: Five Reasons Why It Is A Bad Idea

It was January, and Jane and her boyfriend, Uzo, were at a Karaoke event somewhere in Lagos Mainland. They’d been dating for five years and Uzo assumed they’d eventually get married, but it wasn’t on the mind of Jane as she sat comfortably sipping from a glass of martini. Uzo mounted on stage to sing John Legend’s “All of Me” to his lover. Moments later after his rendition, he was on one knee, prying open a ring box, his surprise proposal couldn’t match the one Jane had for her – it was a misfire. Jane said No.

Public marriage proposal is very common nowadays in Nigeria so much that legendary actor Pete Edochie waded into the matter, describing it as a fly at siesta and a bane in the society. However, the rejections and shame that comes with it when it doesn’t go as envisioned seem to be doing numbers nowadays. If you are on the verge of proposing to your intended in public, here is a reason why it may not be a good idea. Five reasons actually.

1. It is Manipulative

Most people consider public proposals as a trap, a manipulative gesture. The proposer has taken time to study his intended, knowing they might not say no because it is done in front of a crowd of strangers. The response has to be “yes” they assume because if it isn’t, the whole situation will be awkward. This is manipulative that borders on blackmail because if their partner wanted to say no to the engagement, they risk a huge embarrassment as well as hurting their partner’s feelings, nay ego.

READ ALSO: Drama As Corp Member Proposes to His Girlfriend During POP (Video)

Of course, a lot of public marriage proposals are probably well-intentioned and not manipulative, but there’s still something cluelessly narcissistic about them that undercuts the supposed romance.

2. Public Pressure

You must have seen it a lot of time when the man gets down on his knee, the cheering crowd screaming say “say yes, say yes”. At this point, the person who is being proposed to has no time to think about the decision amid the flagmob. Now, what is the point of drawing these eyeballs, attention, and accolades from dozens and even hundreds of random strangers – sometimes tens of thousands – to pressure someone you supposedly love and care about to marry you?

Give it one more thought.

3. It is now a competition On Social Media

We have already become frighteningly meta as a society. We think about the pictures we’ll post on Facebook to commemorate an event instead of just living the moment while it’s ours. We mentally draft the tweet we’ll post to announce the engagement with the line She said yes/I said Yes. Plus the accompanying likes, comments, and retweets.

When people do this, they have unlocked a level of bleak emptiness by engineering moments in their lives, moments that really, really matter in other to maximize the applause or clicks from strangers they shouldn’t give a damn about, instead of thinking only about themselves.

4. Public marriage proposals are not a Sign of Absolute Dedication

Proposing to someone publicly doesn’t mean absolute dedication just the same way marriage doesn’t confer ethics but exposes a lack of it.  A person who proposed to you publicly today can cheat on you publicly tomorrow even at the same spot he knelt down to pop the question.

Public marriage proposals come with so much tension and you might want to ask a few questions before accepting.

5. Most couples are Dishonest

People don’t just frown at public proposals for frowning sake, some actually have genuine reasons like a partner who is trying to get away from an abusive love would not accept a public proposal of marriage even if it is done on the stage of Eagles Square, Abuja.

Also, public proposals can be a huge surprise to people who double date or people who have their eyes set on their careers or on a crush who lives overseas. Whatever the case may be, think about it deeply before staging that big public proposal.

Maybe you should ask yourself this question, What is the goal of a modern marriage proposal?

Image source: YouTube